Happy Birthday and a Merry Christmas to Me
by Greenabsinthia
Summary: Eric gets a nice surprise for his birthday. Written for FDM's Birthday. Please go read all the other amazing birthday stories. RATED M. There is no sex,nudity or violence in this fic, it is pure fluff.


**Happy Birthday and a Merry Fucking Christmas to Me**

A

Southern Vampire Mysteries

Birthday Ficlet

~*~

Charlaine Harris owns The Southern Vampire Mysteries.

~*~

**Sookie**

"Well how was I supposed to know it's his birthday this week?"

Pam had called to ask what I was getting Eric for his birthday. The news was a bit of a surprise. Obviously the man had a birthday, but was it his birth as human or vampire that we would be celebrating?

"Seriously, Sookie! How could you not know it was my Master's birthday?"

As always Pam's voice held little emotion, but I suspected she was mildly put off by my cluelessness. No doubt Pam loved Eric, as much as she was able to love anybody. One thing was certain, she was fiercely loyal.

"I asked him once," I replied, rather annoyed by her tone. "But Eric just brushed me off and said he had to get back to Fangtasia."

"How typical of him," she huffed.

"What are you suppose to give a man who already has everything and can buy anything he so desires? Really, Pam, I think he would just be disappointed. What are you getting him anyway?"

Frankly, I was beyond annoyed now. Angry was more like it. It's just so typical of Eric to pull a stunt like that.

"Firstly, my little telepathic friend, Eric cannot 'buy anything he so desires' as you so sweetly put it. He couldn't buy you for instance."

D_amn straight he couldn't! _

"You would castrate him if he even tried."

_True!_

"Secondly, I'm throwing him a party at the bar. I do it every year and he hates it," Pam said smugly.

_Typical Pam!_

"So what do you suggest I get him, oh Wise One?" I sneered.

"Easy, my dear. You."

"He's already got me, Pam." Really, this woman could be just as frustrating as her Master.

"Not like this. I'll be right over so we can plan. Make sure Amelia is home, I'm going to need her help.

_Click._

_Well fudge!_

This could not be good.

~*~

**Eric**

_Fucking Pam! _

I'm firing her ass the second this spectacle is over.

Each year she does this; ever since I turned her, she's been throwing elaborate parties, with _a theme_, for my birthday and this year is no different. Each year I tell her to fucking stop it! But does she listen? No. Insubordinate wench!

This year's theme: Burlesque. C'mon, really? Burlesque? I half expect Dita von Teese, Marilyn Manson and Evan Rachel Wood will show up. I hear Mari and Evan are back together. _Better him than me_. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if they showed up. In all fairness, Pam had done a pretty good job with the club, but the people bored me to death. Worst of all, Sookie wouldn't be here. Pam told me Sookie had to work because one of the waitresses' kids was sick or something.

Followed by a harsh, "what do you expect, when you don't tell her it's your birthday?"

I'm sitting in my booth too pissed off to enthral_ the vermin_.

"Eric, I did not spend the better part of a month planning your party so you could sit and sulk. Get your ass up on the stage and look like you're actually enjoying yourself."

_What the fuck? Pam is giving me orders?_

I'm about to give her a five minute head start before I hunt her down.

"Now, Eric!"

_Women! No use arguing with them._

I barely manage to sit down on my so-called throne before she cuts off the music and addresses the crowd.

"Ladies and gentleman, in honour of our esteemed Sheriff's birthday we have procured a special guest entertainer for him tonight."

A huge cake is rolled onto the middle of the dance floor, while slow haunting music erupts from the speakers.

_A cake? What am I? Human?_

The top of the cake pops off.

_What the f..._

Sookie, wearing a tight fitted, strapless, cranberry gown emerges. Her soft golden locks cascade down her back as she sways, her body moving to the music. At this point I don't give a shit what's going on around me. All I see is her.

She's staring at me intensely, a wicked smile playing on her lips. She pulls off her long silk gloves seductively and drops them, one by one, to the floor. Her dress is only fastened in the front by a row of tiny buttons. She meticulously unbuttons each of them, holding the dress together only to tease me with little peeks of what she's wearing under it. If I required oxygen I would be holding my breath right now. Which God did I please so much that He or She gave me this woman?

Finally she lets the dress drop; the sight before me makes my dick grow rock hard. Sookie is wearing a red and white striped corset and _fuck,_ red ruffled, barely-there, panties. She looks like one of those Christmas candy canes just ready for me to lick and devour. Pam moves next to the cake and holds out a hand for Sookie to hold onto while she gracefully climbs out of the cake.

_Fuck__. Me. Hard. She's wearing Mary Janes, as well!_

Sookie makes her way across the floor, her hips swaying hypnotically as she floats towards me. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Compton looking extremely uncomfortable.

_Yeah asshole. That __hot piece of ass is all mine._

Sookie reaches me and sits down in my lap. Before I even get a chance to say anything, her lips crash on mine and she intentionally rubs her ass against my cock.

"Happy birthday, lover."

_Happy birthday indeed. _

_Happy birthday and a merry fucking Christmas to me._

~*~

**HAPPY BIRTHDAY FDM!**


End file.
